songs from the last time i died

by rotty

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released December 18, 2015

Written by Murat Dirlik
Produced, Engineered & Mixed by Mike Westbrook
Mastered by Nicholas T. Petersen at Track and Field Recording
Cover Photo/Layout by Jacob Lunow

Murat Dirlik: Vocals, Acoustic Guitar, Electric Guitar, Bass Guitar, Harmonica, Woodchuck Whistle, Piano on "epithet: heart-shaped rock"
Mike Westbrook: Electric Guitar, Acoustic Guitar
Daryl White: Upright Bass
John Crouch-Drums
Don McCray-Keyboards/Organ
Nathan Golub-Pedal Steel
Christian Adams-Cello
Adam Nolton-Lead Guitar on "jennjamin", "stupid", "rainbow eater"
Johnny Wall-Drums on "epithet: heart shaped rock"


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rotty Guanacaste, Costa Rica

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Track Name: boss man
thank you bossman
for giving me these things to build
they silence my mind
and my heart
and time goes away just for a moment

with my work
anchor me somewhere
like an old sunken ship
on the bottom of the harbor

and thank you perfection
for being in my life from time to time
oh you know i will approach you
and i will pretend that you are mine
just for a moment

with these hands
these worn and weathered hands
with these hands
these torn and leathered hands
i found a little bit of light
and i done wrong
and i done right

and if every breath is a prayer
my gods reveal yourselves to me
i wanna know what i look like
on the inside

and i got a plan
and i can tell you all about it man
but unless you help me build it
you will never understand
Track Name: change
come on change
and finish what you started
why's it always gotta rain
on the broken hearted?
i put out the flame
of my dearly departed
so come on pain
and grow cold just like her heart is

pick up all of my pieces
and throw them all away
but save me the good one or two
to help me want to stay

i've come unchained
this cold is in my bones
and winter's not the same
when you're all alone
so come on and change
what's mine is yours to own
so come on change
and finish what you started
come on change
and finish what you started
Track Name: empty room
what do i do with these blues
that follow me around like tomorrow?
well maybe i'll build a house of music
and fill it with my sorrow
and sit there on a chair by myself
in my empty room

i thought anger was a thing to be let out
but now i know it comes running in
when it comes out of your mouth
but i said oh man i've cut myself enough times to know
how to not cut myself no more
and now there's blood on the floor
and a bottle on the shelf
in my empty room

i'm opening the window
as the morning begins
and i'm talking to the sunlight
and it's letting the sunlight in
to my empty room
Track Name: jennjamin
this is my language
so i can finally speak to you
don't believe a word i say unless i'm singing
cause this is where what i believe comes true
it's been 25 years playing these things
out with the old in with blues
cause you're the first woman
to hit me with a love song
got me dreamin of undoing all the wrong
jennjamin oh jennjamin

i see you within myself
almost everywhere in this universe
you wont find nobody better than me
but you can find someone less worse
cause i'm bad to the bone
some nice little honey britches sugar boy
who don't know a thing bout being cursed
cause girl you're the first woman
to get me hit with these love songs
with these silly stupid love songs
Track Name: moon song
hey there mother moon
i've been trying to know you
all these years
but you have yet to howl back
but you're still my beacon
in the black
and sometimes you go away
sometimes you go away

but you're still beneath my feet
gone beyond the horizon

nobody worry bout me
i'm making laughter with strangers
a dangerous game in the dark
me and the moon are making friends
me and the moon are making friends
and sharing laughter with strangers

and these dead winter trees are just dormant
seems to me anyway

we're back here bending in the wind
Track Name: stupid
you did that stupid thing
it makes me feel stupid too

i done a stupid thing or two too

you did that stupid thing
and i did that stupid thing

do you still around too?
cause i'm still around for you
it makes me feel stupid too
Track Name: borrowing light (for naynay)
are you gods just drunk in your dimensions?
i guess everything i see is just a reflection
are we really just alone? alone in this darkness
i guess even in this lonely cold we all still have direction

so hold my hand in the night
because even if i'm blind
your warmth still feels alright

even the sun someday will burn herself cold
just like you and me she's up there growing old
so let's scatter our rays and reflect on my world
and i'll feel the light that we will never hold

unless you hold my hand in the night
hold my soul with all your might
cause i can't see a thing right now
but your warmth still feels so right
so hold my hand in the night
Track Name: rainbow eater
the sun is out and there's a wind in the west
where the weather blows in
and i can tell you
when the storm is coming
and within the rain intangible
are pieces of the sun
there is fire
in the water
and i'm gonna get me some

blast off here i go again
soaring with no wings
but watch me go
watch me go away
sometimes when i stand on the edge
i watch the world from a distance
and my baby is out there
piece by piece
day by day
everything goes away

especially the rainbows within me
all these broken colors within me
well they taste so black
help me pull apart the grey within me
into colors
and bring my rainbow back

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